- Over half (54%) of Brits in relationships have spent cash in the past 12 months without telling their partner
- The average amount spent secretly was £2,158 in the past 12 months, with men spending more on the down-low than women
- 10% of men and 7% of women who are secret spenders have put cash into crypto without telling their other halves
New research from AJ Bell has revealed the secret spending habits of Brits in relationships, with over half making purchases in the past year without talking to their partner*. On average, people are secretly spending £2,158 a year without telling their significant other, but men are splashing out more than women, spending £2,545 on average in comparison to £1,769 for women.
Clothes top the list of what people are secretly spending their money on across both men and women, but there is also a clear gender split in what people are secretly spending on. For men it’s buying consumable vices like cigarettes and alcohol, using cash for gambling and also sending gifts to friends or family without telling their partner. On the other hand, women are more likely to slyly spend on beauty products (including appointments), gifting cash to their children, giving to friends or family and putting money in savings.
Another key trend uncovered is that Gen Z are spending more in secret than older generations. We found 18-34 year olds spent the most of any age group, with an average of £4,303 in the past 12 months, which decreases to £384 for those over the age of 55.
*Source: AJ Bell/Opinium. Based on a nationally representative survey of 4,000 UK adults between 7 and 14 October 2025, in which 1,046 said they spend money in secret.
Laura Suter, director of personal finance at AJ Bell, comments:
“We’re in peak spending season, with Cyber Monday and Black Friday deals continuing and Christmas looming. But not everyone is being open about their spending with their partners.
“While a bit of secret spending might sound harmless, these figures show just how much financial activity is happening under the radar in UK households. The average person is spending over £2,000 without telling their partner, with younger adults racking up far higher totals. It highlights a potentially much bigger issue around how couples manage, discuss and plan their finances.
“There’s nothing wrong with spending your own money and not revealing to your partner just how much that new dress or pair of jeans costs, particularly if you don’t have joint money as a couple. But there is a worrying side to this if couples aren’t talking about finances at all.
“If one partner is secretly diverting money towards gambling or gifts, or another is stashing savings their other half doesn’t know about, it becomes very difficult to budget properly or plan for longer-term goals like buying a home, building an emergency pot or saving for retirement. A mismatch between what people say they spend and what they actually spend is likely to be one of the quickest routes to financial friction in a couple.
“What’s more interesting is the gender divide: men are more likely to conceal spending on short-term habits, while women are more likely to hide financial gifts or even the fact they’re putting money into savings. In some cases that might be well-intentioned, but it also shows that not everyone feels they have equal freedom or transparency in their household budget.
“Perhaps on the more alarming side is the number of men and women secretly sticking some money into cryptocurrencies. This may not be hugely surprising given the rising prominence of crypto assets in recent times, with research from the FCA in 2023 finding that 46% of new investors hold crypto assets. However, many of those were motivated by emotional reasons, such as wanting some excitement or for a novelty factor. With this in mind, it feels more important than ever that those considering investing in crypto assets know the risks and at the very least have discussed their investment with their other halves. Anyone investing in crypto needs to be comfortable with the potential for huge swings in the value of their investment and therefore how much they could be left with at the end.
“Ultimately, you don’t have to report every time you buy a coffee or get your nails done to your partner, but major costs, recurring habits or anything that risks derailing a joint financial plan should be on the table. Open conversations about money may not be romantic, but they are essential for building trust and avoiding nasty surprises when it comes to shared finances.”
