How to protect yourself if your partner is bad with money

In the early days of a relationship, it’s hard to bring up the subject of money. You may not want to delve into what can be a difficult area, so sometimes you only really understand your partner’s attitude to money further down the line, when you’re already committed. 

If you uncover bad news at this stage, it’s not necessarily curtains for the relationship, because there are seven sensible steps you can take to protect yourself from any potential fallout.

1. Have money conversations as early as possible, before anything has a chance to go awry. You can start with an open question, like ‘what’s your relationship with money like?’ It’s only if they don’t volunteer any real information at this point that you may need to ask something more specific.
2. Tackle any problems fast. It’s not your job to put things right, but you need to know how they got into difficulties, whether this is a one-off mistake or part of a broader problem, whether they’re prepared to face up to what has happened, and whether there’s a realistic prospect of them getting out of their financial dead end. This is only possible if they don’t try to hide their mistakes, so try to make honesty about money the default position for you both.
3. If you move in together, make a foolproof plan for paying the bills. In some couples, there’s a joint account specifically for this, but if there’s a risk your partner would spend this money, they may need to pay a direct debit into your account on payday, so you can cover the bills. If they have real problems, there could be months when the direct debit fails. It means you need a solid Plan B. If you think this could be a regular issue, think very carefully about whether moving in is a good idea.
4. Have a robust emergency fund. The usual guide is to hold enough cash to cover 3-6 months’ worth of essential spending, but consider whether your partner’s circumstances mean it’s sensible to hold more.
5. Be very wary about joint financial products – including the joint account for bills. If you take these out, your credit records will be linked, so any trouble they get into will be linked to you, and it could be harder for you to borrow. You’ll also be jointly liable for any debts – and if it’s a joint credit card and your name is on the agreement, you could be liable for all of it. 
6. Draw up a prenup before marriage. You will still both be responsible for joint debts, but in the event of a split, you can lay out that existing debts of theirs, or new ones they ran up alone, should be their responsibility. Prenups aren’t legally binding, but if you both get legal advice before signing and explain the reasoning for your choices, it will be taken into consideration by any divorce court.
7. Understand your red lines. Being bad with money doesn’t have to be the death knell for a relationship, but there is some behaviours that nobody should have to put up with. It’s important to understand your red lines from the beginning and communicate them clearly, so you don’t end up being pushed too far.