One of the things that makes us love our friends, family and partners is our intimate knowledge of them. I know my boyfriend has to start his mornings with a bowl of Chocolate Mini Weetabix. I know that I can phone my mum at one in the morning, because she’ll always be awake and “just about to go to sleep”. Over the years, we share our little quirks with our loved ones, as well as some of our hardest moments, like breakups and unexpected redundancies.
Despite all of this, talking about our finances can feel like an impossible bridge to cross. Those who follow markets might talk about the stocks doing well, or a smart investment they made, but addressing our personal situations with money can feel wrong, maybe because it feels like bragging, or maybe because it’s an area of embarrassment.
But whether we like it or not, finances are a major factor in our life and the decisions we take. Being able to share those experiences with our loved ones can not only relieve some of our stress and help us make more thought-through choices, but empower those that feel uncomfortable making financial decisions of their own.
It can be an awkward conversation to broach, but here’s a few tips to get you started, whether you’re having a casual conversation with a friend, serious chat with a partner, or trying to pass on information to the next generation. I’ll explain the steps below, as well as lay out some recent financial conversations I’ve had as an example.
1. Figure out your goal
Think about what you want to get out of having a financial conversation: do you want to encourage someone in your life to start thinking about their finances? Or are you facing a tricky situation in your own life you need help with? You can have a much clearer conversation by knowing what you want to leave it with.
Example 1: I recently moved in with my boyfriend which means that more of our finances are now shared. I knew that going into the conversation and I wanted to come out with a clear idea of what we’d both be budgeting for our shared expenses every month. In this case, my goal was to have a clear idea of how my financial situation would be changing.
Example 2: A friend came to me to speak about her pension contributions. She was unsure if she should increase them, and if it was something that made sense financially for her. She came in with the goal of information.
2. Think about the other person’s position
Money comes with a lot of baggage. We have different attitudes towards it based on how we were raised and our current financial position. You might not know exactly what position your loved one is in, but you likely have some good context clues. Be sensitive about why money can be a difficult conversation for them and meet them where they’re at. A conversation will be more overwhelming than helpful if someone is bombarded with information they aren’t ready for.
Example 1: I knew when I spoke to my boyfriend about money that his parents and mine had handled their finances very differently. So, when I spoke to him, I focused more on facts and research of what was recommended for splitting finances instead of personal experience, which would put us on the same footing.
Example 2: When my friend spoke to me about her pension, I knew that she was early on in her journey of investing. In this case, I kept the information simple and gave her some examples she could compare her own situation to.
3. Start with yourself
Because finances can be a sensitive area, being the first one to share can help open the dialogue and put the other person at ease. Showing a bit of vulnerability here, whether that be admitting a situation that’s worrying you or sharing where you started your financial journey, can go a long way. Because there’s so much secrecy around money, there’s also a lot of shame and worry that everyone else is making a better decision. In reality, none of us have perfect financial lives.
You can also show positive experiences here, like what you’ve been able to do so far on your financial journey or realisations that helped you along the way. This could be something as simple as opening your first ISA: you might be surprised that many people aren’t aware they can start saving and investing without the tax complications.
Example 1: I went with the approach of total honesty when I spoke to my boyfriend about my finances. I told him how much I earned, how I was worried because he was a much higher earner than me, and how much I was comfortable spending.
Example 2: I opted to tell my friend what percentage of my salary I put in my pension, and explain the reasons I made that choice such as tax benefits and the long-term growth potential. I was also able to compare what my employer contributed to my pension, which helped her understand what the offer was she was receiving, which happened to be well above the average employer contribution. Of course, what’s right for me isn’t necessarily right for her, but it was a helpful starting point.
4. Provide resources
Especially if someone is taking an early step on their financial journey, a single conversation will likely not be enough. People tend to learn in different ways, so giving someone a chance to explore on their own through guides, articles or videos might be a good next step. Instead of just telling them to have a look, sharing the resources that have helped you can provide a more comfortable approach.
Example 1: When I spoke to my boyfriend about our financial split, I wanted to come up with a solution that was comfortable and happy for both of us. Although I knew he had a good handle on his own finances, this was new territory for both of us. I shared with him the resources that I had read and discussed different options before we came to a decision together.
Example 2: In this case, I will admit I didn’t follow my own advice! Not every financial conversation is perfect. By this point in our conversation it seemed like my friend had made her decision, but what I could have done was send her some resources that laid out what it would mean in terms of taxes and her savings.
View the Learn hub for more resources.
5. Follow up
As humans, we aren’t always the best at thinking of our future selves. People are natural procrastinators, so it’s easy to put something like investing to the bottom of the list and focus on more urgent things. Doing a simple check in to see if they need help, or a bit more encouragement, can go a long way. If you both have financial goals you are working towards, you can agree to hold each other accountable.
Example 1: Since my partner and I agreed on our spending a few months back, we’ve had multiple check ins to make sure the arrangement still works and adjusted what we split between us and what we pay for on our own. Keeping open communication on this helps us both feel our agreement is fair and doable.
Example 2: A few weeks after my friend told me about her pension situation, I followed up to ask her what she decided on and spoke to her about investing a bit more. It’s starting to become a more regular part of our hangouts, just like speaking about our jobs, family, or anything else going on in life.
Hannah Williford: Investment Writer
Hannah joined AJ Bell in 2025 as an investment writer. She was previously a journalist at Portfolio Adviser Magazine, reporting on multi-asset, fixed income and equity funds, as well as macroeconomic impacts and regulatory changes...